I had a date with my past a few nights ago. Mum brought over some boxes that came from my bedroom in our old house. Most of the things I haven’t seen for ten years.

Here’s what I learnt about my previous self:

In my late teens, I was hot.

When I was in Year 6, I was not.

Michael Crawford is a kind man…kind enough to send a girl a personally signed photo of himself, all the way from England.

My grandma Joyce was matriarch and Queen Of All Things, especially the Christmas pudding.

My beautiful friend Margot, who passed away when we were 20, wrote me a card from Paris.

And so it seems that someone else wrote me a card from Paris.

And so did someone else.

And so did someone else. Maybe people think about me in Paris.

I learnt I kept a lot of journals. In one box, there were four half-filled journals, and two empty ones. I know for a fact that there are at least another ten still in storage. The first began Wednes 11th July 1990. Today was my birthday. I was seven years old. I went to the bird sanctuary. We saw lots of animals… 

A much later entry, when I was sixteen read I’m kneeling on my bed right now, and I feel…awful. I don’t know what it is. Nothing happened. I just feel so empty inside…

I wrote plays that my cousins and I performed at Christmas concerts for the adults.

I kept books full of poems, and framed the ones I liked best.

I wrote stories. Many stories. This one was my first, written on an old type writer in 1990 when I was six.

The Funny Trip to Alawena.

Mum told me to run away to Alawena. So I placed my bag and ran out the door. First I passed a gentleman. He said his name was Guy. I said “That’s a very smart name for you.” I said. And off he went. And off I went too. Then I met the Queen. She was very keen on me. So on my way I went. Then I was hafe way up the hill. So I dissided to rest. Enyway it was dark. So I put up my tent and went to sleep. The next day I set off on my jirny up the hill. I was soon up on top of the hill. And there was Alawena. The end.

~

I was hot when I was twenty, but I know I was broken inside.

Nowadays, I am a little rounder, less brown, less blonde, less muscular…but happier in my heart. Although I still write stories, I haven’t kept a journal for years, unless it is for creative ideas and inspiration. I have no reason to go back over and over and over my life…my life is in this moment. Happy. Content. Still.

It’s a cliché – as clichéd as they get – but my husband, child and promising bump complete me.

And on that note, I packed up my box and happily put that me away.

Please come and join my community at Heart Mama on Facebook.

{This post has been Freshly Pressed: “The best of 398,529 bloggers, 1,339,016 new posts, 1,329,210 comments, & 315,703,551 words posted today on WordPress.com 29 August 2012”}

{Linking with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT and Bree from Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Friday}

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