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There comes a time in every blogger’s life when meta-blogging must be done.

Meta-blogging (v) ~ blogging about blogging.

Me and the blog have been sleeping in separate beds…feeling estranged. We went from a passionate love affair to…indifference. Blog and I – not sure what we are doing.

Like with every relationship, I do what I do best: over-think. I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what can be done. Will this last? I don’t know if, in the next bed, blog is doing the same. I can only hope.

Reading other blogs has opened me up to another world. Daily, posts by thoughtful writers are flowing into my inbox. Blogging has made me privy to so many internal worlds. It’s a privilege.

But as I read, I question what is going on here – on this blog. Do I write interesting material? Do I enjoy writing about my children? Do I like the look and feel of my blog?

I think the hiccup, the last straw, the reason we are sleeping in separate beds, is related to the fact that I am finding it harder to talk about my children.

Part of me wants to share every little detail for the Granny Annie’s and Mati’s of this world, or for the children themselves, as they grow older. Another part of me wants to tuck them away, and keep them to myself.

I feel like this blog has gone on a little journey. At its conception, it was a mum blog. I didn’t know, at the time, that mum blogging was a Thing. I thought, in my silly little mind, that blogging about one’s children was original. Ha-di-ha.

I enjoyed sharing quirky anecdotes, and long lost friends would write to me to tell me how much they enjoyed reading them. I was encouraged. I continued.

As I wrote, I made more friends, and received more positive feedback. At some point, I channelled my blog towards gentle, nurturing parenting, and put a slant on some posts which would resonate with some parents.

But as I parent, and as I blog, I am not sure I want this to be the focus of my blog, any longer.

I have happily, enthusiastically, tapped out the heart stories that belong to my children. But, now, I hesitate. As they grow, and become of this world, I wonder more about the right I have to share their little stories. Can I write this blog without them?

The answer is…

I am not sure.

What I do know, laying, looking at the ceiling, pondering the nature of my relationship with blog, is that I want it to continue. I need it to continue. Blogging has now become so addictive that I think in blog. (Bloggers will no doubt know what I mean.)

But I want to take blog’s journey in a new direction. I want to write beyond the parenting experience. While I continue to advocate gentle parenting styles, and will no doubt be unable to avoid writing about my children, in some way, I want to write about other ideas too. Return to blogging for the sake of blogging.

What is that again?

As Maxabella wrote recently:

…you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say that the heart of blogging is something we’ve all got to hang onto tightly if we don’t want to lose the essence of what blogging is really all about. Me talking to you and you listening and talking to me so I’m listening for the next time I’m talking to you…

Blog, if you are listening, I still love you. I need you. Can’t do without you. Shall we have breakfast together tomorrow? Good. I’d like that.

What’s your relationship like to your blog? How do you feel writing about your children? What are your general thoughts about Heart Mama? 

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Linking with Essentially Jess for IBOT.