I have been blessed with two beautiful, co-operative daughters. Easy One and Easy Two. I have sailed the parenting dream boat. We have had normal ups and downs, but up until now, being loving and kind towards my daughters has been met with good outcomes.

We missed the terrible twos. Not sure what they’re about, but we didn’t have them. Twos, like ones, and zeros, were dreamy and lovely.

At three though, Little Heart has found a new groove. One that involves spending large amounts of time lying on the floor, sighing dramatically. Whining. Crying. Thrashing very long limbs about.

It’s painful to watch.

Reasons for a meltdown/breakdown/tanty include:

Elmo did not say ‘How I wonder what you are!’
But I need another episode!
don’t need to pee before bed!
don’t need to eat!
You have to find the pink chicken!

It’s not all floor thrashing. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it’s sunshine and daisies. She makes us laugh, is affectionate and beautiful.

She sings songs about Humpty:

Humpty Dumpty doesn’t want to wear his shoes,
Humpty Dumpty is a cranky noodle.

And tells me that the slippery slide has run out of batteries.

She knows when she’s being funny.

But the one percent of floor thrashing is demoralising. I am never quite sure how to respond, and somehow only manage to make it worse.

For the first time in my parenting experience, I feel out of control. I can’t change my daughter’s experience. No amount of kindness and patience affects the outcome. Maybe it does, but the results are delayed.

I am frustrated by my lack of control over the situation. I can’t find the pink chicken anywhere.

My words no longer make sense…I can’t reason myself out of the situation. I can’t even kiss it better. Or offer jutie. I have no external control mechanisms.


But it’s OK. When I was in the swings of rock-a-bye-byeing, it felt its own kind of hard. But looking back, it wasn’t that bad. Time passed, and within minutes, we were onto the next parenting hurdle.

Anyway, I made you this, because you are all Heart Mamas. And you are awesome. And I can’t think of a better way to end this. Daddas, please insert {Heart Daddy}.

I am a Heart Mama

Linking with Jess for IBOT at Essentially Jess.

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