In some ways, I believe I was born to be mum. In other ways, I am hopeless.
Like this whole routine business. They wrote about it in parenting books. Every parent I know does it, well. But routine? We have never quite managed it.
The bedtime routine is classic. Dinner, bath, toothbrush, jammies, books, bed. The sequence provides cues for bedtime.
Because my daughter loves going to bed with her jutie and someone to cuddle, we have never had to rely on a bed time routine. We do most of those things, but never all, and never in order.
Often we are out late, and feed her in the car on the way home.
Sometimes she baths or showers with us in the morning, or not at all.
We always do teeth. That’s the only constant.
We have many rituals. A long, continental breakfast – a spread of meats, cheeses, salad, bread and mustard. We go out for coffee regularly. We read together. Lie in bed together as a family. Our day is woven from rituals. But no routine.
Pre-school starts next Monday. This will be Elka’s introduction to routine. And I agree, kids benefit from routine. It’s grounding in a highly stimulating, sometimes crazy world. Kids like predictability.
Maybe my child craves it? Maybe, in some ways, I am hopeless, because I have never successfully implemented a routine.
So, in preparation for pre-school and for the first time in three years, Elka has her first bedtime routine.
Dinner. Bath. Teeth. Jammies. Books. Jutie. Bed. She got pretty excited about it. What’s next? I said. Teeth! she yelled jubilantly.
Do you do routines?
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{linking with Jess at Essentially Jess, because it’s Tuesday}
January 29, 2013 at 6:25 am
“Our day is woven from rituals. But no routine.” This describes our family life perfectly. My oldest child will start kindergarten in the fall and like you, I think that will necessitate routine that has so far been missing. I’m looking forward to it, and mourning our “freedom” at the same time!
January 29, 2013 at 9:01 am
This weekend, I went to a house that wasn’t mine and stayed there for a training for a new job, which is a job I’ve had in the past, but this time my role is different within it. My boyfriend and dog were not with me, and I had to pack for the weekend in a hurry because I didn’t know we were leaving so soon. I missed my routines SO MUCH. I felt all out of sorts, and realized that not one single routine that I’m used to was there, except for breathing, which is exactly what I did. It was crazy though!
February 6, 2013 at 9:20 am
It’s funny how attached we get to our routines. But maybe there is something so necessary about them, to keep us sane. Good luck with your new job! What is it? x
February 6, 2013 at 12:35 pm
I’m the leader of a therapeutic team 🙂
January 29, 2013 at 9:29 am
Love routine especially when the school term is in full swing. I am not sure what I’d do without one. Hope Elka has a wonderful time at pre-school x
February 6, 2013 at 9:19 am
Thanks Sabeen. It appears she did! x
January 29, 2013 at 10:17 am
We have a pretty strict bedtime routine here with the only interchangeable element being the bath, sometimes she has one in the morning or later in the afternoon she might have a shower with me or Dave if she’s gotten extra messy, but most nights it’s the same. I try to keep our days loosely structured and do things like morning & afternoon tea and lung and naps at the same time but apart from those basics te rest of the day is flexible. Mia responds really well to routine so I do try to keep the bedtime stuff strict and I know her adjusting well daycare has been helped because she works well with routine and new routines.
February 6, 2013 at 9:18 am
I can imagine that would help. Routines do make life easier, it’s true. x
January 29, 2013 at 11:30 am
Good luck with starting a routine and with Elka’s pre-school Zanni!
February 6, 2013 at 9:18 am
Thanks Rita! x
January 29, 2013 at 11:38 am
we didn’t do routines when Nick was small, but when we started having problems with him going to bed we introduced routine and it was very much eat, bath, teeth, book, sleep. Now he’s a bit older we are a bit more relaxed – sometimes he showers sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes it’s before dinner sometimes it’s after…he’s pretty good now. I can see why kids like routine – *I* crave routine and always feel “off” during holidays when routine is thrown out the window! x Aroha
January 29, 2013 at 12:55 pm
Routine works well in our house, dinner, bath, teeth, PJ’s, books in bed (normally all 4 of us get in together) then my husband takes G to her bed and I stay with C and we have some songs before sleep time. If one of us is out the songs are sung loudly so that they can both join in!
February 6, 2013 at 9:17 am
That is so unbelievable cute. x
January 29, 2013 at 1:52 pm
I didn’t have strict routines, but a pattern does slowly emerge, and now that my oldest is in school, of course it is a necessity. School will help your routine. Also, for those first few weeks, she will be thoroughly exhausted. Might make bedtime a bit easier.
February 6, 2013 at 9:17 am
That’s exactly what happened Joyce. She slept over 12 hours. x
January 29, 2013 at 2:35 pm
I have always been a routine kind of person. And it seems to work for my kids too. There is always a little leeway though… especially when it is hubby doing things around here…And miss E knows how things change then… xx
January 29, 2013 at 3:18 pm
I am pretty routine based…I was once a producer and I loved a schedule, but now I find it can go the other way, and I’m too rigid.
That said, I’m much more relaxed with Kiki than I was with D Man.
The schedule means I know when it’s my time, so I can be wholly present when it’s theirs…….in theory.
February 6, 2013 at 9:15 am
I can so see you as a producer! It explains the Holsby TV success 🙂 x
January 29, 2013 at 3:24 pm
During school term we try an stick to routine, but it’s pretty hard to process the 4 of them in any kind of same order. Let’s face it, they are lucky they even get dinner! 😉
February 6, 2013 at 9:16 am
Gosh I can’t imagine! If I ever get to having 4 I will have to have some kind of routine…x
January 29, 2013 at 7:18 pm
Yes we have always had a very strict dinner, bath, teeth, toilet, book, bed routine, from newborn! It means they are always in bed asleep by 7/7.30pm – the only time this changes is if we go out. As for the rest of the day? I gave up on routines ages ago because it made me too stressed! xx
February 6, 2013 at 9:17 am
I think that’ll be like us Em. Routines for the rest of the time aren’t so necessary. And you’re right – just add to stress trying to maintain them! x
January 29, 2013 at 8:59 pm
We rely on routines here as 2 of my kids are on the autism spectrum and need certainty during their day. I think we’ll all be relieved when school finally goes back tomorrow as we have all been a little lost during the holidays. I hope the transition to preschool is smooth and happy for all of you Zanni!
January 29, 2013 at 9:04 pm
I definitely do routines because that’s just me, even before kids. I go crazy if things aren’t planned but I wish that was something I could let go of.
January 30, 2013 at 10:35 am
It seems that in your family there is predictability! They can predict that you will be there for them, love them and that is more important that schedules!! We have a loose routine, but were pretty flexible too!! I’m sure the new transition will be fine!! X Karen
January 30, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Thanks Karen for the reassurance! xx
January 31, 2013 at 9:26 pm
When you have twins, routine is everything! There are days when things go out of whack but it means then we know what to do to get things back on track. We’re much more relaxed than the early days…thank goodness!
January 31, 2013 at 10:02 pm
I am sure Grace! I can imagine it’s essential to survival. Every time I have an awkward moment, I think of you with two! I can’t imagine…xxx
February 11, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Yep, I’m not great with routines but I like them and I think the kids are happier when I am more organised! Routines were easier when we only had one (and even two) babies but with three, kid-spanners can be thrown into the works at any time. But a routine is probably even more necessary now that we have three!
I do like the sound of your rituals though. Rituals sound so much nicer than routines!
xx
February 11, 2013 at 9:49 pm
I agree Angie…routine sounds so strict! I guess some people say ‘rhythm’. That’s also nice.
xxx