Due to the arrival of my beloved second daughter, Eve Rose, I have extended an invitation to a few bloggers to guest post on Heart Mama over the coming few weeks, while I immerse myself in the baby moon. 

This morning, I would like to introduce, Kylie Purtell from A Study in Contradictions. Kylie is the mother of Mia, and writes about her motherhood experiences on her blog. Kylie has shared with us a beautiful piece about learning to relax into the experience of being the mother of a newborn. I hope you enjoy her entry, and head over to her blog to read more beautiful writing by Kylie.

The first few months of Mia’s life seem a bit of a blur now, looking back 11 months after the fact. As any new Mum can attest, nothing can quite prepare you for the rollercoaster of emotions and worry that you’ll suddenly find yourself on in those first few days, weeks and months.

While I was incredibly in love with baby girl I was also incredibly scared of her. Well, not of her, scared for her, I guess you could say. Being the oldest of 5, and having friends with babies, I had a slight idea of what to do when it came to the basics of looking after a baby.

Regardless, I still second-guessed everything I was doing. I had doubts, lots of doubts, about the best way to care for this helpless little creature, about the right and wrong way to do things. Doubts about breastfeeding, doubts about sleeping, doubts about friends and relatives holding my baby for too long. I even had doubts about my doubts.

Being a bit of a control freak, and liking to know exactly what I am doing, I searched everywhere for answers. In books. Online. From my Mum, family, and friends. I don’t have to tell you that everyone has an opinion on the best way to do things with a baby. The internet is a murky pit of contradictions and conflicting advice, and at 2 in the morning, when your baby is screaming and won’t feed properly, and you feel like you’re world is going to end, reading all of that advice only makes things seem that much worse.

If there is one thing I have learned in the last 11 months since becoming a Mum, it’s to trust my instincts. To do what works for Mia and myself, and not worry about what everyone else in the world is doing or thinks. I’ve learned not to worry about spoiling her, or setting up bad habits. If I could have that time with Mia again I wouldn’t bother looking on the internet for different ways to get a baby to sleep, or to check if she should really be feeding every hour. Now that I know how quickly those first few months would go, I’d just concentrate on soaking up every moment with my tiny, newborn baby. I’d cuddle her and hold her as much as I want, feed her whenever she wants, lie down and have a nap together on the bed.

I hope I can remember this when it comes time to have a second baby. I hope I remember that the newborn stage is exactly that, a stage, one that passes all too quickly, and that, despite the sleepless nights and worries about feeding and everything else, this stage will pass in a heartbeat. I hope I remember to trust my instincts, to not worry about what everyone else thinks is the right thing to do, and to do what’s best for myself and my baby. Because as long as there’s love, it will always work out in the end.

Kylie from A Study in Contradictions.

{Linking up with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT}

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