(17th May 2011)
Some days, being a mother feels challenging…like today. I suppose I generally just don’t feel very chippy. Between gastro and now the flu, I’ve been sick most of the week. And I am overwhelmed by how much study I have to do for exams coming up soon (I study Psychology externally) and how little time it seems I have to study. And the weather is bleak and miserable. And my Mum’s away, my Dad’s away, and two of my good friends who I see a lot of have gone away. And Elka has been also sick and miserable all day, so that comes with its challenges. I even resorted to setting up our computer as a TV so she can watch Playschool. I just needed a break!
It just feels like, one thing and another piles up, and then it all feels …miserable. Do you ever have those days??
And on days like today, it seems like I always get caught walking in the rain, or my washing that is meant to be hanging out to dry gets rained on, and things keep falling out of the pram, or the shopping bags. Always on days like today. Never on good days!
I am trying to keep a brave face on for my little girl. Somehow, there is this unwritten rule that I can’t get upset or cranky in front of my baby. Of course, I occasionally snap a little, and express my frustration…”Please stop whining baby girl! And yes yes, it’s OK, calm down, I’ll close the door!” (she currently has a strange fetish for ensuring all doors are closed). And of course it means that poor hubby bears the brunt because he is my “safe person” and all gait is relaxed around him, and so crankiness inevitably escapes, and thrashes around the room.
But…ahhh. I feel much better now. Thanks for listening. Hopefully now Greg won’t have to. Apparently all I needed was a vent!